Visits To You
by Rae Artemis
Summary: This was inspired by a song of the same name. ONESHOT after Devil's Trap. Please R&R and let me know what you think, please R&R.


Okay, here is the usual disclaimer: I do not own supernatural, nor any character created by the show, nor some of the ones in this story 'cause I stole them from almost 'real' life (my friends). Nor am I making any money from this unless my friends try and bribe me not to put it up, but I will anyway, so alas no money.

A/N: This takes place after Devil's Trap, it started off being a Death fic but I can't seem to write death fics (I just CAN'T kill them!) so here's what came of it. I was inspired to do this while reading other people's after DT fics that took place in hospitals, and I was listening to 'Visits to You' by Anthony Rapp a lot! I suggest listening to the song before reading this as the song inspired this kinda and it is a heart breaking song.

Beta'd: By the kind morning sunlight.

This story is also dedicated to those people who work in the medical field; especially places like the ER and the ICU, those people are heroes. Sorry for the rant but I have some family in the medical profession, even place one or two of them in the story, so I have respect for those who work there.

Thanks go to morning sunlight for betaing and also to chocolatejet for support and comments. There are also thanks owed to my sister and mom for their information about medical stuff and general procedural rules for the ICU, thanks.

Good writing to everyone

Serenity for all

Sincerely Rae Artemis

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Visits To You

By Anthony Rapp

Visits to you are suddenly new

Suddenly everything is scared

I've been here before

Will I be here again?

Please tell me you'll never be taken

Is this another time?

Or is this the last time

How much more time

When will time take away my visits to you?

Living with this

Holding your hand

Knowing I'll have to let go soon

Living right now and right now and right now

Knowing I'll soon be without you

Is this another time?

Or is this the last time

How much more time

When will time take away my visits?

And when you go where your going where will

You be going

I know I'll keep going on my visits to you

Is this another time?

Or is this the last time

How much more time

When will time take away my visits?

Is this another time?

Or is this the last time

How much more time

When will time take away?

When will time take away my visits to you?

Visits To You

"Hey there Dean, how are we doing today?" Deb, Sam's nurse, asked as she walked into the room a serene smile on her face. Dean jerked from his half-doze, not bothering to acknowledge her otherwise. When Sam had first been admitted Dean had flirted with her to pass the time, thinking Sam would be leaving the floor soon, but as time had gone by he'd stopped flirting and just been polite.

"I was thinking you might want to grab something to eat today? I know you didn't get anything after I left yesterday."

"No I um, got something." Deb gave him a look, telling him she _knew_ he hadn't. "Who told you? That respiratory therapist Catie? No she wouldn't, it was Jerry wasn't it?" Dean asked referring one of the night nurses, over the last month Dean had gotten to know most of the nurses in the unit. "Man, I hate that guy sometimes!"

"No it wasn't Jerry, it was Linda." Deb flatly stated. Linda was the unit's clerk and she had taken an interest in Dean as had most of the ICU staff. Linda would drop off food and treats for Dean and sit with him and Sam on her break. Other nurses and staff would also drop by to say hello to Dean and 'Sam'

"It really _is _the quiet ones you gotta watch out for." Dean scoffed, he'd like Linda, he didn't think she'd rat him out. But she was a mother; her two kids were Sam's age so of course she'd tell Deb he hadn't eaten. Dean watched Deb as she looked over Sam, he thought about how he had been the one dying in the Impala right before the truck had hit his baby. Somehow Sam had sustained a head injury while, Dean and John had gotten off with broken bones but nothing serious, though Dean had some very fancy needlework on his chest. He was torn from his thoughts as Deb looked at him, her sympathetic look at the ready.

"Listen, Dean I know you want…I know you need to be here for Sam but the deal is, you still have to take care of yourself as well as him. That means you have to eat and do your rehab on that leg or else." Deb said it kindly, but Dean knew she would throw him out supposedly for the good of his own health.

"Sure. Fine. Whatever." He muttered back, defeated. Deb checked the ventilator and took Sam's vitals, which hadn't changed in the month he'd been in the ICU and left, telling Dean she'd get Linda to send for something for him to eat.

After she had left Dean began his routine of talking to Sam. When he'd first been allowed to visit Sam he'd only spoken about what they'd do as soon as Sam woke up, how they'd hunt down the demon with Dad. How Sam would be getting Dean a new car, only fair since he'd been driving when the Impala had be hit. In the first week, Dean had watched Sam closely for any sign of him waking up. Each time he thought he saw Sam smile, he made a big deal about calling the doctors. Each time the doctors said that yes it _might_ mean something _but_ it was probably just a random muscle spasm. Dean had ignored this and had convinced himself that Sam would be awake soon and they could leave and everything would be back to normal.

At the beginning of the second week the doctors had given in to his all day visits to Sam's room, telling him he could stay but only if he agreed to follow the rules they made: he had to do rehab for his leg, and other stupid rules he agreed to as long as he could see Sam. Dean was healing quickly, his broken leg gave him pain but he was 'released' by the middle of the second week. He continued to camp out in Sam's room even after he was allowed to leave, still following the orders he'd been given by the doctors.

But by the end of the second week his hopes began to dwindle, right after his father had left the hospital. John had tried to get Dean to leave with him, being more realistic about Sam's condition than Dean. But he'd refused to leave his baby brother and John had left without either of his boys, telling Dean to call when he left the hospital. Dean had replied that he would when Sam did and John had to turn away so Dean wouldn't see the tears threatening to fall.

John couldn't believe Sam would survive and couldn't bear to see him die as he'd watched Mary die. John hadn't visited Dean when Sam had called him for the same reason, he couldn't stand it to see his sons' suffer, that was why he'd trained them to be warriors. And now Sam was dying according to his doctors, day by day his baby boy was dying and there was nothing he could do to stop it. John had left the hospital a broken man without either of his boys and no hope.

In the middle of the third week Dean had begun to tell Sam about times Sam couldn't remember, to pass the time. Events that Sam couldn't remember, like how when Sam was three they'd been visiting Pastor Jim, the boys had been playing in the back yard and Sam had wandered away and found a baby racoon and brought it back to Dean. Sam had been babbling about the pretty kitty, the mother racoon stalking him, looking very pissed. Dean pushed Sam out of the way and had ended up having to get stitches from the pastor while apologizing to Sam who was wailing that his brother had taken the kitty away. Or the time Sam had tried to make breakfast while Dean and John slept and had almost burned down the hotel room with a hot plate. He reminded Sam and himself of the time that Sam had forgotten, it had brought Dean to tears again and again remembering them all as a family, and not the broken individuals they were now.

The ICU staff was kind to him, they even allowed him to spend almost all of his time there, which was against their policy, but, so long as he ate and did his exercises, they allowed it and kept the doctors out of the way. Dean was beginning to fear that his father was right and that Sam wouldn't be leaving the hospital. He'd overheard the nurses talking a few times, they'd been talking about how sad it must be for him, since Sam wasn't going to wake up and how devoted he was, how heartbreaking it was to watch him. Dean refused to give up on Sam no matter what they told him. Sam hadn't given up on him after being told there was no hope and Sam had even managed to save Dean, he understood now why Sam had been so desperate. He couldn't lose Sam. He'd happily take Sam to the Reverend, even knowing it would cost someone else his or her life, he'd do it to save his baby brother. He'd trade his life for Sam's in a heartbeat, if only Sam would wake up.

"Did I ever tell you about the time you decided…" Dean's throat closed up with emotion and he had to wipe his eyes. "Geez, look at me. You decide to take a nap and suddenly I'm an eight-year-old girl with a skinned knee. Hey if you wake up now you'll see a truly weird sight; me crying over someone who is no longer here!" Dean could feel himself beginning to break; the cracks had formed in his armour the moment that they'd told him they didn't know if Sam was going to wake up. He put his head in his hands and began to cry, he hadn't cried like this since the night his mother had died.

"Dean?" He heard someone enter the room, walking towards him slowly, carefully. "Dean, honey, are you okay?" She knelt down beside the chair; it was Linda the unit's clerk. "It's okay honey, you needed this." She hugged him and he leaned into her, his defences down, needing to be a kid again and desperate to be told it wasn't his fault and that Sam would be okay. Even if it was a lie, even if he never did wake up or be taken off the ventilator, or God forbid die. He just needed a moment where it wasn't all on him. She continued to murmur kind things gently. She was a mother, he could tell, moms were good at this stuff, dads weren't or at least John wasn't. Dean's sobs slowed and became softer, but he didn't want to let go yet, he didn't want to be responsible yet.

"It's okay baby, it's okay. It's not your fault. I promise you'll be okay." She slowly began to draw back and Dean fought the impulse to grab onto her and not let go. She seemed to sense he wasn't ready yet and stopped moving away. Finally after what felt like only a moment but was really fifteen, he let go and slumped back into the chair, his face red and tear-stained. Embarrassed, he turned away from her looking back at Sam, feeling ashamed for his outburst.

"I'm sorry. I just got a little…overwhelmed." He whispered out, his voice shaking along with the rest of him.

"Don't worry about it Dean, I understand, really sweetie I do." He blushed as she called him 'sweetie', his eyes sparkling with more unshed tears, he couldn't help but give her a shaky smile. "You've been under a lot of stress. You just needed a hug kiddo that's all. Don't worry I think it is going to be okay. Now eat up, you need your strength. I promise you it is all going to be okay." She patted him on the shoulder, a tranquil smile on her face. Before leaving, she walked up to Sam, gently kissing his forehead and whispering something Dean couldn't quite make out, though it didn't sound like English.

"Yeah, sure, breakfast." Dean sighed as he tackled his breakfast with a lacklustre attitude. "You know Sam, the food in this place isn't too bad, even if it is a hospital." He looked up just in time to see Sam's eyes open and for the beeping of the infernal machine to speed up. Dean jumped out of his chair, broken leg temporarily forgotten as he rushed to Sam's bedside. "Sammy?" The eyes that looked back at him were Sam, confused and a little afraid but Sam none the less. Dean began paging the nurse, calling for Linda and trying to keep Sam from pulling out his intubation tube all at once.

"It's okay Sammy, don't touch that tube okay? Deb! Linda! Anybody?" Suddenly what seemed like the whole ICU staff was in Sam's small cubicle of a room and Dean was stuffed back into the chair where he'd been stuck for the last month. Catie, the respiratory therapist, took out Sam's tube after he made it clear that either she did or he did. Sam's doctor, Dr. Hiyashi came in and pronounced it a miracle, because there was no reason that Sam should wake up at all let alone without brain injury. Dean thanked Deb for everything and began to look for Linda so he could do the same.

Jerry rushed into the door calling for the doctors, saying that Linda had collapsed at her desk and wouldn't wake up.

The staff forced Dean back into his chair, a chill running up his spine as Sam weakly answered all the questions asked of him. He felt Sam's eyes follow him as he walked towards the door, watching Linda as the doctors and nurse hovered over her. Dean could overhear them and worried at what he caught.

"No reaction to light or pain, but pulse and breath are strong and steady. It's almost as if she traded places with that kid in there!" Dr. Hiyashi stated shaking his head at the absurdity of it. The staff moved Linda onto a bed and began trying to figure out what was going on. Dean had a sneaking suspicion that Linda had something to do with the miracle that had just fallen into his lap. He leaned against the door a distance look on his face as he replayed what she'd said to him, then she'd kissed Sam and muttered something. Catie the respiratory therapist was dragged away by Jerry and deposited near Dean. Her arrival startled him and Dean turned to her, seeing a sour look on her face he opened his mouth to ask what was wrong but she beat him to the punch.

"Go enjoy your gift." She spat at him.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"My mom just gave you back your brother, and now she'll be unconscious for Gods know how long just so that someone she doesn't even know can live. Go enjoy it. She would want you to." Catie's normally blue eyes flashed bright almost neon green.

"Linda's your mother? What the Hell is with the eyes?"

"None of your damn business and yes she's my mom." Catie growled at him. "A little magic in the family tree, and gifts like this are possible. That is why she works here so she can help, but your brother-"

"His name is Sam. Say it!" Dean leaned towards her, his eyes flashing with anger as she again refused to use Sam's name.

"My mother is going to be ill for him, for you. He should be dead, but she was slowly helping him, slowly gently not enough to make her sick but enough to make him heal. Now because you were selfish and impatient she finished it all in one go. One shot that has put _her_ in a coma. I hope you are happy, because that is what _she_ would want." Catie stormed off leaving Dean speechless and confused, he overheard them saying they were going to take Linda for an MRI.

"Dean?" Deb touched his arm and he jumped being dragged back reality by her. "Dean, Sam is asking for you." He allowed her to guide him back into the room, to see his brother. Sam was sitting up in bed, weak and shaken looking but awake. Dean felt tears in his eyes as he took in the sight he thought he'd never see again.

"Dean, are you ok?" Sam gasped out, his voice raspy from the tube that had been down his throat. "Where's dad? Are you ok?"

"Dean if you can keep him from talking too much, that would be good because he needs to rest those vocal cords. And don't you dare wear him out or I swear I WILL kick you out." Deb dropped him back in his chair, and gave him a glare re-enforcing her threat.

"No worries Deb, I promise." Dean crossed his heart dramatically waiting until she left the room to fill Sam in on everything that was going on. He looked out the door to see Linda still unconscious being taken for her testing. "Thank you." He whispered as he watched the doors close, tears running, unchecked, down his face.

"Dean…what's…wrong?" Sam rasped out, watching him intently.

"Nothing Sam, just thanking someone for a special gift."


End file.
